"Out of the mouths of babes." - Psalms 8:2
In its traditional meaning, the above quote refers to children saying statements which are prematurely insightful or wise. For today's post, I'll be using a less than traditional interpretation of the phrase. Especially since these are words my toddler has regurgitated and I'm finding a way to twist that into something crass, dark and witty. I'm such an excellent mother. Anyway, these two little gems popped out of my toddler's mouth the other day. I was lucky enough to have my phone's notepad ready to record these little verbal diamonds. Since many words have multiple meanings, I have also provided multiple inappropriate definitions for your amusement.
I think it's pretty obvious where I am going with this, so don't act all surprised and shocked.
1) A person (non-gender specific) who takes sleeping around to a sport like level; competitions are optional.
2) An avid trampoline jumper who has advanced their levitating skills to a "champion" like ability.
1) A fierce explosion of promiscuity that hits you when you approach a brothel, seedy bar, or randomly at the ice machine of a Super 8 motel.
2) A dizzy, spinning, inspirationally explosive sensation that overcomes you whilst perusing around your favorite DIY store garden tools section (similar to experiencing a volcanic eruption and a tornado at the same time). This sensation is usually followed by an intense need to purchase the entire row of garden tools, starting, of course, with the hoe.
3) The overwhelming, uncontrollable onset of explosive gardening tool mouth diarrhea. Most often, this affliction attacks the overknowledgable employee in the gardening section, with whom you randomly run smack into with your mouth dropped wide open in an "I don't know what I'm looking for?" look on your face.
I should start my own Abbie Nourmel dictionary.
All the people would buy it.
I'm not narcissistic, but thanks for putting that thought out there.
I think I'm onto something here... :D