My ghosts are lazy

OK, so after all that serious, spine chilling, Alfred Hitchcock-esque talk about weird paranormal experience and other strange happenings in my house, I decided I should lighten up a bit.  After all, this is supposed to be a funny blog, with real moments only sporadically.  Pfft.

I got to thinking in the shower the other morning, I do my best thinking in there, and I believe my friend had the right idea.  She suggested that I need to put the ghosts to work and then maybe their presence wouldn't be so awful.  What could these ghosts do to make me feel better about them being around all the time?  Interesting question to ask myself, but I actually came up with some great answers... I hope they're listening.

Things my house ghosts could do to make our coexistance better:

1. Fold my laundry. 
I mean really.  There are, like, literally mountains of unwashed, and washed laundry.  I SERIOUSLY hate folding laundry.  If they're going to be up all hours of the night, folding a few loads isn't too much to ask, is it?

2. While we're on the laundry topic, why not run a load in the washer for me? 
If they can lift crap off the shelves, then they certainly could lift a pour of Oxyclean and Tide into the washer, at, oh, say 1 AM?  Make your poltergeist activity work for YOU.  Ghosts, if your feeling naughty, maybe iron a few shirts too?  Just sayin.

3. Wash all the dishes and clean the kitchen at night. 
You know what nights I am talking about.  Those nights where your meal has created a mountainous volcano of dishes - ready to erupt onto your floor - and you're starting to notice goats roaming around your perimeter.  Those nights it would ESPECIALLY fantastic if the ghosts would just take care of that for me. 

4. I really don't like pulling crab grass from the garden. 
As much as I love playing tug of war with a rhizomatous chlorophyll beast, I REALLY don't like all the spiders in the bushes I need to brush up against to do it myself.  Clearly ghost weeding is in order.  Benefit for the ghost?  It could get all that pent up otherworldly frustration out in a healthy manner... instead of, oh I don't know, throwing my clock off the wall.

5. Massage my feet?
Instead of wasting all that manifestation power with pushing down on  my chest, flipping my arms out of bed, or paralyzing me with fear, why not just do something nice for a change?  Massaging my feet would help bring our relationship to the next level and simultaneously bridge the gap that is our lack of trust with one another.

Obviously, there are so many other things that the ghosts could be doing to make my life better, but this is a start.   Once I feel like the above have become an effortless routine for my spooks, I might actually be able to overlook the damaged clock and my worn out pscyhe.