The Pore Goblin

When you have created a red pocked complexion from your ill attempted facial, and you are not willing to take responsibility for your own facial scraping actions, you can always blame things on the Pore Goblin.  He comes around right before you fall into REM sleep...

Once you have reached earth shattering snore level, he's ready to advance upon your otherwise still body.  Watching evilly as you snore, he slowly crawls toward your face.  He's watching us right now, he knows we are talking about him.  His troglodyte alien sixth sense works exceptionally well, especially being that he is the runt of the Pore Goblin family.

*SHWING* His razor sharp claws are no match for your mace.  In one fell swoop he could literally rip your face apart.  Seriously.

Claws descend upon innocent skin, and before you know it, you are about to fall prey to his facial scraping actions.  His movements are precise and so light, that you don't even know what's going on, and seldom wake up in the middle of his midnight attack.

The next morning you head to the bathroom to wash your face, and lo and behold... half of it is gone.  What has replaced your once even toned, tight pored face, is now a splattering of bleeding red scrapes and pock marks.  Calling in sick might be a good option to avoid co-workers, but then what will be your excuse to the Pizza delivery man?  Dilemma's Dilemma's... Surely you don't want to be seen in public looking like a rejected cast member from Hellraiser 2.  Think of the children, and your elderly neighbor... her 90 year old ticker couldn't handle that visual. 

Note to reader: buy stock in concealer, if you don't you're left with only baby powder and nude lip liner to cover the ghastly marks.  NOT cool.

This story is based on true events. 

Footnote: If you're not worried about spiders crawling into your head from sleeping with your mouth open, or those earwigs from Dune laying babies in your ear, then there is no need to worry about the Pore Goblin.  You apparently know something we don't.