Piss and Vinegar

Snoopy after a zombie has eaten his brains and he's gotten grumpy.

Piss and vinegar is something I refer to myself being filled to the brim with sometimes.  Side note: maybe that's why my first child has acid reflux?  Coincidence?, I think not.  Not every day do I act this way, but this feeling of everything just sucks (you know, having "one of those days") creeps up from time to time.  Although, in my own defense, several members of my household can be quite full of it themselves - and more often than I.  For me though, there is really no excuse... I just take it to a whole new level when I don't really need to.  I'll be the first to admit that I came out of the womb bitter, with a shiv and swearing.  Which, actually(?) may in fact be quite correct.  I've always had a mistrusting chip on my shoulder.  I find a way to complain about EVERYTHING.  People used to ask why I was so angry (based on my expression of haggard grumpiness), when I was perfectly happy.  I'm bitterly sarcastic, even when sarcasm isn't called for.  Yup, on the outside a normal looking person, on the inside - a bemoaned, curmudgeonly old hag who despises anyone who smiles.  I'm just a few years away from an abandoned crooked house filled with cats, and a "The Witch is IN" sign on my doorway.  Well... maybe not SO much.  As I have gotten older, my distrusting chilly disposition has melted a wee bit.  Now instead of piss and vinegar, I'm more like mildly dirty bath water sprinkled with shots of lemon juice.  Kind of soothing and refreshing but that quickly diverts to random episodes of sharp stinging jolts chocked full of awful bitterness.  Mmmm... I'm sounding sooooo pleasant... it's really surprising that people aren't knocking down my door to be friends.  **Chuckle**

If you aren't familiar with this, some examples (not all of these are me, but you get the idea) of being filled with piss and vinegar are:
Waking up on the wrong side of the bed, every day.
Everything is wrong starting from the moment you open your eyes.
Your lucky charms just sucks today, and you'd rather starve.
You can't stand the way your clothes look/ fit/ smell.
Your toothpaste is burning your mouth.
Everyone sucks, even the nice neighbor smiling at you.
As you walk to the bus, you spill coffee down the one friggin' shirt that you can't wash or dry clean.
You suggest to your coworker that they have chronic halitosis.
You stubbed your toe and cracked your nail in half, now blood is filling up in your shoe... you shout "AWESOME!" angrily at the Starbucks employee.
Your new suede jacket got splashed with dirty city sidewalk puddle water, and you want to rip it off and scream at it.
You piss someone off, and then demand they stop treating you like crap.
You're home from work and there is nothing in the fridge you like... so you cry.
At least you have peanut butter.
WTF, you're out of PEANUT BUTTER?!?!?  WHAT ELSE????  LOCUSTS?
And the list goes on and on...

You can plainly see how one bad attitude can escalate into a web of self spinning hatred and disgust towards everyone and everything.  Swearing is a temporary fix towards your plight, but honestly it just adds to the downward spiral of negativity (although it's great to see people jerk back shocked that *little old you* sounds like a dirty sailor).  Most often a smack in the face of ice cold water (or a hand, or a frozen fish), some incense, a LARGE glass of something with a proof percentage to it, and a shower helps lessen the tension.  Until the next day when you're filled with it again for no damn reason by 9 am.  Maybe someone should just chuck medication into my mouth as I walk out the door. At least if I choked on it, I'd have a legitimate reason to be grumpy.  On the upside, you don't waste money on bug spray... one bite and they drop dead from the acidity in you.