Yesterday I missed a post in my month of June self imposed blogathon. I decided I could blame it on the Mayan calendar ending this year, premonitions of the end of the world being overwhelming and all that... faking how its emotionally affecting me. Basically taking a day to serve as my moment of peace. Whatever. It's all bull anyway, I was really just consumed with summer, kids, mommy camp and all the other crap I deal with on any given day. Here's my post for today, it's kind of, "Meh?", but it entertained me to a level of snorting under my breath so I thought I would share it. Enjoy!
These are things I don't feel like doing anymore today for my kids:
- Telling you to stop yelling, shoving, licking, pushing, hair pulling and tantrumming for the 7,856,932th time.
- Asking you to use your "nice voice" for the hundredth time this last half hour.
- Advising that NO, in fact you do NOT deserve to watch Scooby Doo after falling into a pile of hysterical screaming tears... at Home Depot... when I was trying to ask a complex plumbing question to the nice man who was forced to endure your monstrous behavior.
- Shutting you down for yet ANOTHER glass of water... At like nine pm. Are you a frigging camel?
- Explaining that I can NOT read you a seventy five page historical novel that you RANDOMLY picked when it's already fifteen minutes past your bedtime.
- No you may not horf your corn back up and spit it into the carpet, because you "don't like it".
- State that, NO!, I'm not going to explain, AGAIN, that it's time for bed and there is no more talking. You can ask me to explain what chlorophyll is and what it's scientific compound is tomorrow. And that's when I'll tell you to ask me later because I've not had nearly enough coffee yet.