I only wish for attainable things

I wish...

I lived on a Yurt, in the middle of the Ocean, with sweat-less eunuch vampire staff that fed me ice cold martinis on call, and rubbed my feet and neck.

I had a convertible 66 Chevelle, glossy black, with quad exhaust.  That or a cherry red Mazda RX7 gull wing... AND matching lipstick to pair with my matching heels.  Bite me Tawny Kitaen.

I was a Bond girl named Natasha, who could kick the tookas of ninjutsu warriors and crack high security level missile codes all while looking like a supermodel.

I had endless money and a loft studio in New York that I could escape my life to paint/ draw to my hearts content.  Responsibilities?  Pish tosh.  

I could become a scientist and discover the cure to Autism.  Or at least look insanely mad in a lab coat, whilst mixing different elements from the periodic table together creating chemical "Poof!" sounding cloud balls.  I just said cloud balls.

I could make an Oreo Cookie ice cream vitamin supplement.  Not a flavored  chew, but an actual cone filled with ice cream.  It would be lactose free, gluten free, fat free and it would lower your cholesterol.

My house wasn't haunted.  I'm really tired of sh** turning on by itself already... at like, 2:30 in the morning.  For the love of all that is holy, can't a girl get a little sleep?

I could escape to a tropical paradise and learn to play golf whilst drinking island mamasita's.  In fact just getting to the island would be good enough.  Sitting at the airport would actually suffice.  I'll just sit in my driveway.

Life handed me vodka more often then lemons (reference to Ron White comedy).  Lemons ARE yummy though... and there's that slurp-a-licious lemonade I make...  Hmm.  Ok, maybe life can hand me half vodka and half lemons.  It's all about balance, right Karma?

Laundry washed and magically folded itself.  I think if this were to actually happen, I might turn into one of those religious fanatics.  Soapbox preaching to everyone that "Dog" heard my prayers and we really aren't alone.

Wearing wrinkled clothes were "IN".

Coffee breath was considered a pheromone.

I could play the piano, and speak 5 languages (teaching myself Spanish right now).  

I could be Storm from X-Men.  I've been meaning to master that whole "start-massive-tornadoes-from-my-blank-stare" technique.  Plus, all white pupils are hot.


  1. Hell yeah girl. I know you can do all that. When you get to that yurt, send me an invitation, will ya?


  2. Absolutely. Bring some extra vampires will ya? :D

  3. I'll bring the vampires and the vodka... how's that? Loved this!

  4. And that, my friend, is why I adore you. Vodka AND Vampires? You can take me away to the looney bin... I am fulfilled. LMAO. xD