Top 10 reasons why I am AWESOME and you should follow me

Will you please, if it's not any trouble, kindly stalk me for a while?

Follow me, FOLLOW me, follow ME...
Please, please, please, please, please, please, pretty please with a cherry on top?
Um, for clarification, I do not really mean in the stalker sense but rather in the online sense.  I'm ho-ing myself out for followers.  Yeeeaaaah.  It's gotten to THAT level.  I figured I'm already an organ donor... so...?

I'd offer you my first born alien baby in exchange for your following, but that first born is already spoken for.  Not to mention... the baby moon rock package has already been ordered and sent (Holla Annie West!) and can not be returned for a full refund.  So unless I get a little more friendly with the aliens, then you will have to be alien baby-less for now. 

OK, so here are 10 reasons why I'm uber awesome, and why you should follow me (AND share the awesomeness that is me to your friends).

1. I have a large network of friends.  Seriously, they are all really close with me and would open their arms to you at a moments notice.  Just ask any of them, I have all their emails you can contact them directly:™,™,™,™,™,™,™,™,™,™,™,™,™,™ and™.  We're tight, yo.

2. I'm really humble.

3. I'm really just a perfectly normal person who you would enjoy being around and introduce to your family.  That is, if your family were the Munsters™, and your sister is a sociopath.  Oh, and the "normal" I am is just slightly abnormal.  Like, I'd rather watch a slasher movie alone in the dark with no one home than go out and socialize with people.  Like I said, totally Pottery Barn™ normal.

4. I'm filled with tons of random information that is so tremendously helpful for every day life.  Such as: how to manage your own lawn care schedule, what the greek god of the sea's name is, what the name is of the movement a penny makes while it's spinning out, what Palindrome means and how to manage your horrible gas problem.  I'm so useful!

5. I'm whacked in the head to a degree that's interesting, but not creepy.  Sort of.

6. I'm a mom, an IT professional, crazy person, gifted, I speak quickly and appreciate horror movies, gourmet cooking, excellent Martini's, aliens, paranormal, and I like little miniature bunnies.  I fit into just about everyone's palette of interest.

7. I'm awesome.

8. I don't have hair in my ears (at least not yet), and I have two eyebrows.

9. If you stand next to me, I'll make you look better and more sophisticated - mainly because every time I open my mouth I sound like a jackass.

10. I know what Stalactites and Stalagmites are, and can tell you what Quantum Physics is.  Just let me Google it first.

That is only the tip of the iceberg.  There is a whole glacier of bull-shavicky under that tip, and another one under that one (kind of like a baby tooth being pushed out by the larger adult tooth). 

Red rover, red rover, send anyone on over!  Come over to my crazy utopia, hang out for a while and bask in all the tweaked psycho verbiage.  I DARE you.