iPhone's don't like bathtubs

I found this out the hard way, after a rigorous and death defying duel with a dirty soap water filled bathtub. 

I was bathing big kid, trying to wrangle her into the stream of water in order for the hair washing to commence - when I hear a thud.  It takes me at least 2 seconds to register that there WAS a thud, and then... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 
The back of my iPhone is white, so I didn't immediately see it sitting at the bottom of the white lined tub (it conveniently fell face down exposing the white backing).  Dang it why does the back have to be so frigging smooth?  I'm flailing around in the water - like a baby seal escaping a great white attack - trying to reach the phone, when I finally grasp it after 6 seconds into full water submersion.  O.M.G.  PANIC.  HYSTERIA.  ARMAGEDDON.  How am I going to survive without this phone?!?!?!?  I do literally EVERYTHING through it.  %$#@!

Big kid doesn't understand the absolute look of horror on my face as I fish out the dripping cell phone from its watery grave.  Visions of terror flash in front of my eyes like moments of my life... calendar appointments, children's pictures, emails, iPhone apps, iTunes songs, endless things... now lost forever.  NO, I haven't backed it up.  Why would I do THAT?  *THAT* would make SENSE.  She eyes me from the side of her face, laughs, and says, "what's wrong with your face?"  I am trying to hold back the overflow tears.  As I say this out loud, I realize how incredibly sad I must be to even verbalize that.  During my *flipping out on the inside* imploding episode, I instantly think: *maybe I can make enough air pressure from my mouth to mimic an air pressure can and blow the majority of the water out?*.  After 5 minutes of this random thought inspired activity and a downward spiral feeling of incredible dizziness escalating, I decide this is not a long term plan.  Plus having my iPhone spitting back at me just wasn't cool.  A "This device is not supported" message keeps popping up every time I blow hurricane force wind from my mouth into the power charging area of the phone.  No &^% Sherlock, maybe it's because it's my MOUTH and not a stupid plug.  A news flash scrolls across my brain: I'm literally giving mouth to mouth to my iPhone.  This could actually be the saddest day of my existence.  I'm THAT person.

I get on the web long enough to realize I should A) shut off the phone like 20 minutes ago, and B) implant it into a bed of rice.  All I had was a tub of Basmati from six plus years ago.  Good enough.  Lie with the rice and be still my little friend.  Of course (what makes things especially crappy) tonight would be the ONE TIME I decide to actually go out with friends and have a nice time.  Now, in the wake of this electronic homicide, I'm leaving my sitter no way to reach me in the event of an emergency other than the name of the restaurant we are at, and my friends cell phone number.  Sigh.  Fine, I convince myself things will be just fine.  Millions of people did this before they had cell phones.  People went out without this instant access, right?!?

Fast forward: My cell phone is still messed three ways from Sunday (flickering between the Apple sign with the spinning wheel of death, and main screen with battery dead signals, to nothing with a strange red light I have never seen before highlighted and pulsing like Satan's eye mocking my stupidity). 
Overall, the night would have been a tremendous success (considering my iPhone disaster) had it not been for the hidden dairy product I unknowingly consumed in tonight's appetizer.  Rendering me flushed in a scary shade of white at the table, pass out worthy dizzy spells, and an overwhelming feeling of nausea that overcame me like a whopping sledge hammer to the stomach.  Instantly I had to rush to the bathroom and ended up hurling everything.  Ugh.  I hate severe lactose intolerance.  That was a definite cue that it's time to go home. 

Ooh, Yey. 

This is what happens when I decide to get out of my house.  I swear, sometimes it really does feel like someone up there is punishing me for actually trying to have fun. 
Where are the Rolaids?


  1. OH NO!! leave it alone for at least 24 hrs. You may want to get an appointment with Apple's iDesk people lol and see if they can get the pictures at least before you have to plunk down a hunk o'money for a new phone. I had a 3GS that was water logged and it went on for another 2.5 years.

  2. I have craftily put it in rice since the incident, and apparently (with some quirks re: charging it) it's able to turn back on??? I'm taking one last desparate attempt to back up the stuff on it while I have this window of time... will keep you posted! 2.5 years past water damage!?!?! That's insane! :)