Humpty Dumpty is an evil egg brought to this earth by aliens. The middle of his egg core is definitely green ooze that burns through stainless steel.
The Disney Ariel flip cell phone is downright creepy, and quite frankly stalker-ish.
Ariel creepy cell phone whisper voice:
"You and I are going to be friends, FOR-E-VER. *Insert Ariel's maniacal sociopath giggle*" Holy stalker batman!
I don't need therapy thanks to Bob Ross. Because of him, I have now come to terms with the fact that I am not a mistake, but rather a happy accident.
If there were a zipper embedded into my torso, and I could unzip my "costume", inside would be Gru from "Despicable Me".
I have a Grover from Sesame Street type mouth, when it opens it allows the back of my head to completely fall flush with my spine.
I just ate my weight in peanuts. If I suck down a whole bottle of Pinot Noir, a packet of yeast, and some water, maybe I'll confuse my stomach into thinking I had a monster peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
I look perfectly normal on the outside. Kind of similar to the expression "Smiling on the Inside". Except my smile is a toothy psychotic clown smile, and I'm eating Little Debbie oatmeal cookie patties on the inside while looking at you from the side of my face.
I speak fluent cell phone incorrect auto-correct texting language. If your phone screws up your text and replaces your normal words with whacked out ones, no worries! I can decipher it within five seconds, and respond appropriately. Seriously, I know you didn't just call me a monkey-twit-for-brains-loser, and ask if I wanted to greet for a lemon.
I'm tired now. YAWN.
Random thoughts take up a lot of energy apparently.