Funk Stew Recipe

While I was away in la la land, skipping and singing la la's... I basically lived off of this amazing stew that really satisfied my ravenous hunger.  I actually became a HUGE fan of this recipe, so much in fact, that I ate it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I never got tired of it.  Ever.  Perhaps it could use a little tweaking, and I'm sure there are a few substitutions that could be made here and there... but for the most part, it's perfect just as it is.  On a cold, rainy, windy, gloomy night, go ahead and make this for yourself.


1 TSP of internalized rage (substitute with depression)
1 cup of WTF... Really?
1 cup of bewildered confusion
2 TBLSPN of loss of control
2.5 cups of severe social anxiety
8 oz. of endless analyzation
**you may add a good old fashioned pour of Vinegar, to increase the bitterness to mouth puckering "holy pucker batman" level.

*Additional notes/ variations for recipe: (thanks to some friends adding their $.02)
- Internalized rage solidifies into depression if you let it sit too long. (JW)
- A little Maylox may be helpful if you suffer from acid reflux and or bitterness. (EM)
- Garnish with a hearty dash of hopelessness and serve it w/ a bottle of Jack. (LH)
- Add an extra fifteen minutes of aggression and tantrum-ing. (W)

Mix the above together with a few dashes of fruitless worry and a handful of bullsh**.  Stir until all the ingredients form a hard unmoving ball of impossible-ness.  This dish is best suited as the main course of a formal dinner, and be sure to serve politely with a fork, knife, and white linen cloth.


  1. My favorite recipe! I thought if anyone would carry it, it would be "Martha Stewart's Handbook for Higher Living in Jail." But no, that was all about making decorative shivs and floral printed escape ropes. Useless. Mostly.

    I always add too much bewildered confusion and WTF..Really to my meals. You DO NOT want to see how that turns out. Coincidentally, I haven't been asked to host dinner parties in a while.

  2. LMAO! I just SNARFED my Funk! ;)