This was my fabulous idea for a T-Shirt.
Ever since that movie came out about the kid who could see dead people, I have adored the phrase: "I see dead people." Spoken in that eerie whisper voice, and in the same tone as if you were suggesting to a close friend you needed to leave the party because you just sharted a little in your pants. That phrase, however, is kind of a dead statement though (no pun intended) since that whole movie came out like 25 thousand years ago. My bigger T-Shirt invention problem was that I equally loved the phrase: "I eat CARBS." It's catchy, it's obnoxious, and just fun to scream out into large crowds in the middle of a busy street. Ever play the Penis game? When you scream the word Penis as loud as you can until it's downright embarassing? Well this is like that.
What's that you say? You never played that game, and what kind of sick freak am I? Don't put your higher than thou crap on me. You know that even if you didn't play that game, you desperately wanted to.
I can feel your eyes judging me.
I thought to myself, "I could combine them and it would be a super fabulous T-Shirt! EVERYONE will want them!!" :)
I seriously think I could market this together with the added bonus of a six pack of beer. If you purchased the shirt it would automatically arrive with a DVD on how to obtain social skills in 5 easy steps, and a six pack of Natty Bo. Oh, and a diary to catalog your loneliness after the purchase.
It could be like the socially challenged starter kit... minus the video games and BB gun.
It would look something like this:
It would probably be worn by this guy:
Please kids, no trying this at home. Eating carbs and seeing dead people is not really as cool as it's cracked up to be, and it's definitely not for the faint of heart. You end up feeling very tired, bloated, gassy and are afraid to pee in the middle of the night for fear of dead people hovering over your shoulder blowing on your neck and vomiting black tar on your feet.
I speak from experience. It's totally uncool.